For our hardworking staff and stage crew, tours are essentially an exercise in waiting for something to go horribly wrong. A cargo truck transporting our instruments and wardrobe trunks from one city to another could have an accident. A musician could absent-mindedly leave her passport in her violin case and then put her case in the cargo trunk (despite the numerous reminders throughout our schedule books reading “NEVER PACK YOUR PASSPORT.”) Or something even more unforeseen could occur at any given moment, requiring an emergency scramble by the people whose responsibility it is to get us from place to place on these trips.
The last day of our tour really was all about the support staff. Yes, we played a concert at Amsterdam’s near-acoustically-perfect Concertgebouw, and yes, it seemed to go awfully well. But to write about that would definitely be burying the lead. So instead, I’m going to write about the day that Beth Kellar-Long, Kris Arkis, Kari Marshall, Leah Mohling, Mele Willis, Michael Pelton and Bob Neu had.
For Beth, our operations manager, the day began with a 3:30am wakeup call. This was actually planned – one member of our tour staff always flies ahead of the larger group to each new stop, there to gather room keys, schedule changes, and hotel information for everyone in order to expedite the check-in process. This staffer will also add newly published reviews and any important information we need to know to a large easel that gets set up backstage at each new venue we come to. The easel also holds seating charts, rehearsal orders, and all the info that we’re used to seeing backstage at Orchestra Hall. On this tour, it also held two separate announcements that a member of the tour party was leaving the tour immediately due to a death in the family. (One of those leaving was our lead stage manager, Tim Eickholt, so the crew was already working a man short, with assistant manager Gail Reich stepping into the lead role.)
Beth was on a plane to Amsterdam by 7am, three hours ahead of the rest of us. About 15 minutes earlier, personnel manager Leah Mohling had stationed herself in the lobby of our Edinburgh hotel to begin collecting luggage from each member of the tour party. This would be sorted into color-coded groups and loaded onto buses for the trip to the airport. By the time we reached our Amsterdam hotel several hours later, things appeared to be running as smoothly as ever. They weren’t.
The trouble began when a member of the tour party forgot that our procedure at airports is to collect our luggage as it’s unloaded from the bus we rode in on, then check it ourselves before proceeding to the gate. By the time it was discovered that she had left all her stuff on the curb and proceeded through security with just her hand baggage, our staff had almost no time to recover it. They managed to locate and check the forgotten bags in time for the flight, but in the rush, several other members of the orchestra didn’t get checked in for the charter to Amsterdam in time for their bags to be loaded. So right off the bat, someone was going to have to spend a large part of the afternoon tracking the luggage that would have to come in on a later flight, keeping in mind that a) there aren’t a whole lot of direct flights between Edinburgh and Amsterdam, and b) most of us were only going to be in Amsterdam for about 20 hours, and some of us would be there for a whole lot less than that.
Speaking of which, I think I mentioned that not all of us would be playing the Concertgebouw concert. Since the repertoire for this last night of the tour (Mozart’s A Major Violin Concerto and Beethoven’s 7th Symphony) requires a less than full-sized orchestra, arrangements had been made to send 9 or 10 musicians home directly after we arrived in Amsterdam. One of those making an immediate connection for Minneapolis was our principal trombone, Doug Wright. Now, Doug’s a family man, so naturally, he’d been picking up little souvenirs to bring home to the kids as he traveled. One of those souvenirs, as it happened, was a replica of an old World War II machine gun bullet strung on a necklace.
I should pause at this point to make it abundantly clear that Doug is not an idiot. He was well aware of what airport security was likely to think of a bullet on a string, and had every intention of disclosing it immediately and asking what the best course of action for getting the souvenir back to America might be. Still, since the bullet was not a real bullet, and was hollow inside, he would have preferred not to put it in his checked bag if possible, lest it get crushed en route.
So, upon arrival in Amsterdam (the bullet made it that far without incident,) Doug cleared passport control, retrieved his bag, and went to check in for his Delta flight home. Holding up the bullet to the person at the check-in counter, he asked, “Is this going to be a problem if I have it in my carry-on?” No problem at all, he was assured.
It was at the gate that things went south. After completing the usual security interview (which is always quite thorough in Amsterdam,) Doug’s bag was pulled off the X-ray line for additional search. Upon discovering the bullet, the security apparatus more or less swung into Defcon 1 mode. It was pointy, Doug was told, and that makes it dangerous. Also, for all they knew, Doug could be some sort of terrorist MacGyver, capable of fashioning a crude gun out of in-flight magazines and crushed pop cans. Or something.
Yeah, whatever. Can he play trombone?
Doug, being a non-idiot, immediately recognized the futility of argument, and told the security team to go ahead and confiscate the bullet, so that he could get on the plane. No, no, he was told. At this stage, they were required to get “the military” involved. I kid you not. And please note that this occurred several hours before those two guys were arrested at Schiphol.
“The military,” as it turned out, consisted of several very large men in fatigues carrying extremely large guns (actual guns, not the kind Doug was plotting to construct from magazines and pop cans to fire his fake bullet and destroy America.) They arrived forty minutes later and began a whole new round of questioning. By the time they were through, Doug had missed his flight. Returning to the check-in counter to rebook, he was told that there would be a “changing fee,” but seeing the look of commingled shock and rage on his face, the agent hurriedly said, “But I’ll waive that in this case.” Doug was booked on a flight leaving the following morning, just ahead of the rest of us. I’m not clear on who paid his hotel bill for the night.
It was roughly around this time that violinist Julie Ayer had her purse snatched on one of the trams that run throughout central Amsterdam. Her passport was in the purse. Julie had brought her husband Carl (a retired MN Orch violinist) on the tour, and they were planning to spend a few days in Belgium after the final concert. Once again, the tour staff were sent scrambling to find a way to get Julie a new, expedited passport. (It was very fortunate that this happened in a city with an American Embassy, where they have the apparatus to handle such emergencies.) Again, nothing our people don’t know how to deal with, but when you’re trying to maneuver 120 people around a foreign continent, every little crisis sets you back a few hours.
As a final insult added to injury, our staff couldn’t even afford to relax once we were on site for the concert, since the Concertgebouw is such a confusing maze of corridors and staircases that we needed staffers at nearly every turn to direct us to our wardrobes, instrument trunks, dressing rooms, and the stage. (The maze is so disorienting that even the staff were briefly fooled – violist Richard Marshall and I followed a set of signs directing us to stage left, only to find ourselves emerging onto the floor at stage right.)
Somehow, though, they all got through it, and remarkably, Beth Kellar-Long was still awake and vertical when I reached our hotel bar about an hour after the concert. (By the way, if you ever find yourself at the Schiphol Hilton, you should be aware that a Jameson on the rocks will run you a solid €8,75 ($11.20), and that they won’t tell you this until after they’ve poured it.) In fact, the whole tour staff was there, enjoying a well-earned decompression from a truly hellish day on the job. And the really remarkable thing about it all is that most of us in the orchestra could well have made it through the entire day without having the slightest inkling that anything was amiss. That’s the sign of a seriously great staff.
I’ll have one more post about the tour later in the week, addressing the one aspect of things I’ve been deliberately avoiding – the press. But for now, I’m just happy to be home, and looking forward to getting reacquainted with the State Fair…




